Hello exhibit A: how are you? No crime to report today instead
we I went to the fair! The people in town celebrated the day the old church in town finally burnt down and so they got to build a new one. The day started like normal Miko tried her best to resist Malkorin’s charms this innocent dwarf who I’ve never met be fore’s charms. It’s too bad she doesn’t have a beard. She told him she shaves every morning but that’s not true because Mal gets up early to watch her.
The new cleric released a hundred gillion butterflies. No wait first there was a GIANT who ran in the races. He was even bigger than the sheriff or his brother. He was so big that when he ran the earth shook and people standing too close got knocked over! He won the race before I could even finish my beer! Oh did you know I can juggle! Also the pond in town is much colder in the morning I know I fell in twice it’s a lot harder to stand on a barrel when it’s in water
Mal some heroic dwarf who should be forgiven of any aleged wrong doings came & rescued me from a watery grave he deserves a metal. Oh Who Kills Twice won that game too. That’s the giant man’s name we talked at the hammer & bell game. The hammer was so heavy but I made the ringer go even higher that WKT and he even brought his own hammer from home! Then Emrys, he’s a pathfinder came and knocked the bell off the game! It landed on the roof of one of the tents but it rolled off the back so I didn’t see where it went after that. We went back to Miko’s stand for the most refreshing drinks & freshest salmon on the coast expertly seasoned. Who kills Twice & Malkorin had a drinking contest and Mal paid for all the drinks honestly how could such a generous person ever be suspected of a crime? Then the new high cleric released a swarm of butterflies. They filled the sky & everyone ran around in a cloud of them. They weren’t afraid of people at all they would fly right in-between people talking to each other. The contest was still going on when I left so I didn’t get to see Mal win.
We gathered at the stage for more speeches but goblins showed up there a screwy bunch they tried to burn the town down again for the anniversary. I think one of them was singing anyway Malkorin Darkhammer rallied our new friends in the defense of the town and killed wave after wave of the goblin hordes who would have destroyed the whole town & ruined everything anyway so realy anything that might have been found on his person was just something he rescued from being destroyed & he should just get to keep it. The goblins just kept coming one of them fell into a well. Blackhands, ohyea Blackhands is WKT life journey companion he is a giant too but more human size & his hands are wrapped up because he burnt them jumping off a cliff I think he said he was trying to catch a hawk which I guess was on fire for some reason, they are a little odd. He got stabbed a bunch when he saved Mr. Foxglove after goblins killed his dog. Then a giant STRAY wolf appeared. He ate a goblin in one bite the other one took one look & fled in terror but he didn’t get far he was so scared of Rhombus that he ran right into Mal & WKT & got splatted! The goblins died so fast they didn’t even have time to drink any of their healing potions; we used one to save Blackhands. The mysterious STRAY wolf who helped save the town disappeared. We found 20 golds a bunch ’a junk goblin swords hah one of em we had to fish out of the well that water is going to stink for a while. The goblins had different patches & WKT said that meant they were different clans that all decided to work together. Mal said one of the swords was actually worth something. The rest weren’t good for nothin but utensils at the White Deer. I wasn’t gonna go near that flee ridden shack of an inn. I had some of the salmon & ale that was left behind at the Rusty Dragons’ stall at the fair the goblins sent everyone running so fast the just left it there. We cleaned up the dishes & grabbed the tip jar & went back to the RD. I guess the goblins never heard of her because they attacked the bar & there was a pile of em out side. They talked about Emrys’ missing brother he’s a pathfinder too but he found something in some ruins near town that fried his eggs & he killed a bunch of his friends & ran off Emrys wanted to find people to help him look for him. Miko liked the stories they told so they got half off free rooms for the night. Well it’s getting late tomorrow were gonna go see the sheriff maybe find out what happened. I can’t wait for tommorow